Charlie Sheen took it like a man at the Comedy Central roast held in his honor.
Jon Lovitz: “[Charlie Sheen] is nothing like the character he plays on TMZ.”
Mike Tyson: “Hey Charlie Sheen! Now props to the f*cking guy man he’s got big protruding balls he’s gonna bust your stool man.”
Anthony Jeselnik: “Charlie, you are a monster. Every moment of your life looks like the first two minutes of ‘Law and Order, SVU.’”
Amy Schumer (To Mike Tyson): “You have a slutty lower back tattoo on your face.”
Amy Schumer (To Charlie Sheen): “You’re just like Bruce Willis—you were big in the 80s and now your old slot is being filled byAshton Kutcher.”
William Shatner: “Prostitutes cost a lot of money, Charlie! Hasn’t anyone told you that actresses will sleep with you for free? That’s Hollywood 101! You should’ve called.”
Patrice O’Neal (To audience): “F—ck you. Y’all laughed at some f-cked up sh-t.”
Steve-O: “Charlie still hasn’t hit rock bottom. He’s looking forward to it though, because he thinks there’s a rock there.”
Charlie Sheen: “It’s true, I’ve hung around with a lot of shady people over the years — losers, drug addicts, dealers, desperate whores. But to have you all here on one night is really special.”