The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills aired a brand new episode December 3, 2012 and below is a complete show recap!

There must be something in the water in Ojai. While on their spa getaway vacation all of the women got along and had a good time, mostly. Kim said, “the trip is for us to have a good time, heal, and have fun- no fighting” so obviously it was a boring night in Beverly Hills.

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Last week’s episode ended with the women having dinner and Brandi and Kim hashing out their past grievances (last season Brandi called her a meth addict and Kim hid Brandi’s crutches, forcing to hobble on her broken foot in search of them.) They were having an emotional conversation and Adrienne announces to the table that Kim is crying. Brandi, being the classy woman that she is promptly tells her to “shut the f**k up.” Oddly enough, a group of women who have threatened, sued, and physically attacked one another are all appalled by the use foul language.  Who knew the ladies of Beverly Hills were such delicate flowers. Finally, Lisa convinces Brandi to apologize; the women begrudgingly accept her apology. Now that the drama is done, they can enjoy the rest of their trip and relax- and by relax I mean get insanely and hilariously drunk.

The next day, it was all roses and sunshine, and actual relaxation (the liquid relaxation comes into play later in the evening) the women played badminton, raced in golf carts and threw towels and water at each other while in the steam room. I have to wonder if someone warned the people running this vacation house in Ojai and told them to crush tranquilizers in the food- I have never seen these women so calm and easy going. No fighting. At all.

Time for dinner; (I had my fingers crossed that someone would hurl a glass, throw a table or drop the f bomb again, but sadly they did not.) everyone was on their best behavior. The meal took a humorous turn when Yolanda took a page from Atlanta housewife Porsha’s insane medical philosophy playbook (last night Portia proclaimed that eating a certain type of sweet potato would increase her chances of having twins) and told everyone that she could not drink any alcohol while on the trip because of a treatment she was receiving for her back pain. Yolanda broke her back while giving birth to her son years ago and has turned to European medicine. The “treatment” consists of “using fresh cells from unborn fetus of baby lamb, and inject into you back because those cells are closest to human ones.” Taylor summed up the bizarre story best “nothing in Beverly Hills surprises me- if you can inject it into your body, they’ll do it.”

Dinner is over and Yolanda and Kim go to bed early. Yolanda was to be fresh and alert so she can wake up early and exercise and Kim is still in recovery from her alcohol addiction so she does not want to be around the women while they are drinking. While Kim and Yolanda sleep downstairs, the rest of the women continue to drink and head upstairs. The fun begins with arm-wrestling- Taylor vs. Brandi and then Brandi vs. Adrienne. This is followed by drunken gymnastics- all of the women are doing backflips and handstands on the bed.  The evening continues with dancing, more drinking, laughing, and more dinking.  Yolanda is not impressed- “there is nothing worse then drunk women. It is un-classy to be out of control.”  Yolanda, you may want to find a new group of friends.

Next Week- Lisa’s husband has surgery, Camille shows off her new boy toy, Adrienne’s husband, Paul calls Brandi and “bi**h” and a “piece of s**t. “