A distraught Bethenny Frankel opened up on The Ellen DeGeneres Show about her recent split from husband Jason Hoppy.

“Do I want to be doing this exact thing right now? No!” Bethenny said, adding, “but I can’t just only be on reality TV and show everything when it’s a fairy princess fairytale and then not take my hits when I have to.”

Pointing to tabloids headlining herdivorce, the 42-year-old reality star said: “Does this especially bother me? No, but dealing with that plus personal stuff at the same time is very surreal thing. Just going through something personal you have so many different emotions and I feel like a bit of a disappointment to all of you. And I feel like a failure.”

About her divorce after only two years of marriage, Bethenny said “I feel like a failure. I really put it out there. I wanted the fairytale. I thought I had it. And [my daughter] Bryn is my fairytale … I get letters …So many people have been so supportive and some people are judgmental and I really understand.

“I also get letters from people saying, ‘now I don’t believe in love,’ and that’s just not true. Love is everywhere. It’s the road and you’re on it. It has peaks and valleys and that’s what it is, but I don’t know how people go through this because this is excruciating, I have to say.

“Yes, a lot of my life has been business. [But] since we did the show this summer, I’ve just been home being more of a stay-at-home mom. A lot of people are saying that I chose business over love, which couldn’t be further from the truth,” she said. “I don’t really do much, and this [the gossip tabloids] kind of made me say to myself, ‘oh my gosh.’ Fame is a weird thing. Maybe I want to get off the ride … But doing [my talk show] every day, that’s what I’m supposed to do, and talking to people and women every day, have these conversations that are difficult …and that’s kind of why I’m here today.”

Watch part of Bethenny’s interview in the video clip below. The full interview airs Wednesday, January 9, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.