Rihanna’s new Rolling Stone cover comes with the headline “Crazy in Love.” And in the accompanying interview, the 24-year-old singer unexpectedly opens up about her controversial reunion and ongoing relationship with Chris Brown. 

So, why would Rihanna get back together with a man who beat her up in 2009? “I decided it was more important for me to be happy,” she tells Rolling Stone. ”I wasn’t going to let anybody’s opinion get in the way of that. Even if it’s a mistake, it’s my mistake. After being tormented for so many years, being angry and dark, I’d rather just live my truth and take the backlash. I can handle it.”

The RS issue hits the stands Friday (February 1)! But here is a sneak peek at what else RiRi shared with the mag:

On being mad at Chris Brown for an extended period of time: “I wanted him to know what it felt like to lose me. To feel the consequences of that. So when that (stuff) came back it hit me like a ton of bricks. Like, God, you’ve got to be kidding right now. But I got real with myself, and I just couldn’t bury the way I felt.”

On people’s adverse reaction to hooking back up with Chris: “When you add up the pieces from the outside, it’s not the cutest puzzle in the world. You see us walking somewhere, driving somewhere, in the studio, in the club, and you think you know. But it’s different now. We don’t have those types of arguments anymore. We talk about (stuff). We value each other. We know exactly what we have now, and we don’t want to lose that.”

On a future with Chris: “He doesn’t have the luxury of f—ing up again. That’s just not an option. I can’t say that nothing else will ever go wrong. But I’m pretty solid in the knowing that he’s disgusted by that. And I wouldn’t have gone this far if I ever thought that was a possibility.”